Yourself: An Allegory by Kaden Ramstack is a journey through the tarot, story telling structure, folklore, and self-realization. Unlike many solo ttrpgs, this one more about introspection than about overcoming or goal achievement.
As a queer, autistic, animist/polytheist, witch, and unwanted child this game was…a lot emotionally but in all the best ways. I will say, that while knowing how to read tarot is not necessary, it is really intriguing if you know how to read the cards and see what patterns and messages come up while “playing.”

Content Warnings:
Themes of Rejection, Abandonment, Body Dysmorphia/Dysphoria, Body Horror, and Self Doubt.

Yourself Playthrough

What Kind of Changeling am I?
I like the idea of a combination of Replaced and Descended. Perhaps I was the child of a Fae and a human, a forbidden union. When I was born, I couldn’t remain in the Fae realm so I was replaced with a sickly, dying human child – the thought being that the parents would prefer a healthy child and no one would be the wiser with a little fae magic help…

For the prompts, I drew from my Tarot of the Old Path. This deck is very nostalgic for me as it was the one my mentor used when I was trained to read tarot.
The card representing my Human Side: The Moon “The Illusion”
The card representing my Fae Side: Temperance “The Guide”

Act 1: Pentacles

Nine of Pentacles
A mundane trait that tipped scales: I have slightly webbed toes. This isn’t entirely unusual. Some humans have this too but in combination with other aspects…its a sign.
Five of Pentacles
I’ve always felt like someone was watching me but never found them. I was very young when this began…perhaps only 3 or 4. I never found out who it was.
Three of Pentacles
I never quite fit in with other kids growing up. I was too day-dreamy…preferring to spend my time with animals or trees. Kids were too loud, too noisy, to fast, too…everything. The only time I remember enjoying being around other kids was in the water swimming. But even then…well they knew instinctively I was different and by that point didn’t want me around.
Major Arcana – The Wheel of Fortune
…some people just have bad luck…and sometimes what goes around comes around.

Act 2: Swords

Three of Swords
There is something wrong with me and space…my size is wrong. Its not that I’m bigger all around then I occupy or that I’m smaller all around…its like different parts of my body are bigger than they should be and other parts are smaller. My feet feel bigger than they are, making me trip all the time. My height feels smaller, I feel like I’m looking up at people much more than necessary given my average height.
Page of Swords
Each day I need to take into account my body or mind in a new way.
Knight of Swords
The Illusion is breaking…As much as part of me wants to keep it up…it was never a very good one in the first place. Humans don’t care for me. But that doesn’t mean fae will be any better…
Major Arcana: The Hanged Man
A feeling of stasis. Should I stay or should I go. Nothing keeps me here but fear of where I am headed.

Act 3: Cups

Ten of Cups
The fae have brought me a gift…
I found it at the tree line where I go to be alone and myself away from prying eyes…well the eyes of humans. I suspect the feeling of being watched is the fae and that is always with me.
It was a carved icosahedron, small enough to sit in the palm of my hand. On each of the 20 faces was a little sigil. It encourages me to take a chance…
Seven of Cups
People say things when they think you can’t hear them. My hearing has always been good and these walls are thing. They wish I would just go away. They wish I’d never been born. That I’d never been their burden. They thought they would be rid of their child when it was so sick as a baby but then I came…strange but robust…a hinderance to the lives they would rather be living.
Ace of Cups
The strange and queer always find each other. My friend is also Fae-kin but different than me. Where I am squat and disproportionate, they are tall and strong but so quiet and slow like the growing of great oak trees.
Major Arcana: The World
Emergence. A new cycle.

Act 4: Wands

Ace of Wands
I have changed…my appearance anyways. In many ways I am still the same. My skin sloughed off slowly, leaving mottled greenish flesh like moss agate and greenish moonstone…my hair is now oil-slick black.
Nine of Wands
I had planned to go to college out of state but now…now I am content to live in the woods, in the hedges and liminal places that are neither here nor there…kinda like me.
Knight of Wands
I have made new connections. The other creatures and folx of the hedge. Some human with just enough fae in them to walk in both places. Some fae. And some animal.
Major Arcana: The Empress
I am where I am most comfortable and most productive. My creativity has blossomed.

Act 5: Yourself in Entirety

I drew The Chariot “Mastery”
I am all of these things…and something else that controls the various facets of who I am.

5 Stars

A beautiful, insightful journey. Definitely need a cup of tea and a hug after that. Thank you Kaden. I feel seen.